When The Opinions of Others Take Up Too Much Space

Sometimes you've got to tune out the noise so you can listen to your story ...

I was speaking to another writer recently when the topic of other people's opinions about writing living rent free in our heads came up. 

Instantly, I remembered all the similar conversations I've had with other writers over the past 13 years and I realised just how common this experience is. 

Maybe you were told you were going to be brilliant, successful, even famous as a writer ... so you burned yourself out trying to live up to those expectations and started feeling like a failure.

Or, maybe you were told the opposite - that you're a terrible writer, that your stories will never amount to anything, and that no one will wat to read them - so you consider giving up.

Or,perhpas you've heard the more 'practical' warning: that writing rarely makes a good income and you shouldn't reply on it, so you focus your time and engergy on something more stable instead.

I've heard all of these from diffferent writers, and I've experienced a few unsolicited opinions myself.

Comments like this - whether they're intentionally harmful or not - often undermine our confidence and self-belief; two things writers need in abundance at every stage of their journey. 

I'm still learning how to tackle these thoughts myself, but positive psychology often suggests ignoring or politely declining unsolicited criticism when it occurs. For example: 

'thank you for your concern, I will consider it'

'while I appreciate your thoughts, I would really value support right now instead'

'thank you, I trust my own path to lead me'

The same principle can apply to the after-thoughts that linger in our minds.

When those voices pop up, try responding with something simple:

'nope'

'not now'

Or, for those who grow up in the 2000s 'talk to the hand because the face ain't listening' 😂

If it doesn't work straight away - or it feels as difficult for you as it sometimes does for me - don't be disheartened. Change takes time, but we'll get there 💪

Do you have thoughts like this that pop up and try to eat away at your confidence? Leave them in the comments and let them die there.

Keep your eyes peeled for more news on my writing here and on my Instagram!