32 Going On 8

Sometimes we can all use a little help from the child within ...  

Over the past few months, I've realised why I have been struggling to write ... 

... it turns out I've stopped being able to connect with my writing on an emotional level.

This SUCKS, but it's (thankfully) something that can be healed. 

My therapist and I have been working together to understand where this block came from som that we can slowly untangle it. We're making good progress, but it's also somehing deeply personal, so I would rather keep the details of that journey private. 

What I can share is how I'm trying to reconnect with writing while I work through it. Because that's the strange part.

The words haven't disappeared.

The ideas haven't disappeared.

My love of stories hasn't disappeared. 

It was the emotional connection that faded. 

Insead of feeling excited to open my manuscript, I felt apprehensive. Insead of feeling immersed in the world I'd created, I felt like I was standing outside it, looking in through a window. 

So, for now, I'm focusing less on forcing myself to write and more on rebuilding that connection.

The first way I'm doing that is by reconnecting with my inner child - the little girl who first fell in love with stories and writing them simply because it was fun. That means making space for joy again. Letting myself do things just because they make me smile. Saying yes to ideas that my adul brain initially dismisses as silly. 

Recently, that's included:

• Buying myself a little squishy toy that looks like a carton of pink milkshake because I thought it was adorable.
• Wearing an outfit I had wanted to wear for ages because it reminded me of something I loved as a child, and deciding (just for one day) to say, 'Screw what other people think'.
• Having a nostalgic dinner with my husband featuring some of our childhood favourites - most notably turkey dinosaurs and tater tots.
• Making a dessert that, to quote my husband, 'looked like a 5 year old designed it', simply because it was exactly what I felt like eating 😄
• Making memories with my best friend while painting ceramics - something I hadn't done since we were around 9 or 10 years old
  

The second is much simpler: I've started keeping a diary again.

No structure, pressure, or expectations. 

Just five minutes, a notebook, a timer, and whatever happens to be in my head that day (a stream of consciousness exercise). 

I think 8 year old me would wholeheartedly approve of the notebook I have chosen:

My hope is that these small acts of joy and creativity will slowly rebuild the emotional bridge between me and my writing. 

I don't want to just finish my novel ... I want to feel the same excitement, curiosity, and wonder that made me start writing stories all those years ago.

If this resonated with you, I'd love to know - have you ever felt disconnected from something you love? And if so, what helped you find your way back? Comment below 🙂

Keep your eyes peeled for more news on my writing here and on my Instagram!