Anyone else good at surviving difficult seasons, but not very good at noticing the small wins? ...
Some people collect stamps, others collect houseplants ... apparently, I collect existential crises🙃
Every so often, my brain decides it's time to question absolutely everything. My writing. My goals. My life choices. Whether I should dramatically disappear into a forest and become one with the moss (don't worry, I won't - no matter how tempting).
It's all very inconvenient.
This latest episode has left me feeling a little lost, if I'm honest. The kind of lost where even the things you normally love take more effort than they should.
But here's what I'm slowly learning.
Showing up doesn't always look the way we think it should.
Sometimes it means writing 2,000 words. Othertimes it means editing a chapter. And sometimes it simply means opening the manuscript, reading a page, making one thoughtful change, and deciding that was enough for the day.
I'm tring to be kinder to myself about those quieter days.
Because even if my progress isn't as visible right now, I'm still here.
I'm still thinking about my story and scribbling ideas in notebooks. I'm still daydreaming about characters while making cups of tea and believing this novel deserves to exist - even on the days I struggle to believe in myself.
So yes ... another existential crisis has arrived uninvited. It'll probably make itself comfortable for a little while before wandering off again, as they tend to do.
In the meantime, I'll keep showing up however I can.
Maybe not perfectly or as consistently as I'd like. But consistently enough to remind my story - and myself - that I'm not giving up.
If you've been navigating your own messy season lately, I hope you're giving yourself credit for the small ways you're still showing up too.
That's often where the real courage lives ❤️
Keep your eyes peeled for more news on my writing here and on my Instagram!
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